CyberTorah

Exercise: Take five long breaths. In between each breath, draw to mind something for which you are grateful. After those five breaths, sit for a minute and say, “I hold with love whatever suffering and loss surrounds me. And now, I give myself permission to feel joy. In that joy, I will be strengthened.” Take five more breaths and then go about your day. Repeat daily, ideally in the afternoon.

Background: People often say God only gives us what we can handle. I don’t believe that aphorism. Suffering is hard and it wounds us in deep ways. Loss, dislocation, illness, they all leave a spiritual mark that can be for some be crippling. And in the midst of that kind of suffering, it feels far more than we can ever possibly hold.

Joy is a key salve to such spiritual wounding. It is in joy that we remember that there is also light. It is in joy that we remember the people who love us, the connections that sustain us, the beauty surrounding us all the time. Yet sometimes we feel as though we lack permission to rejoice. How can we be happy when so many are suffering?

It is for this reason that Our Rabbis teach: When the month of Adar arrives, cause joy to increase. Adar begins this Shabbat, meaning we are two weeks from Purim, a holiday that is all about fun and laughter and happiness. The aphorism is often mistranslated. Many say “when Adar enters, joy increases.” Yet the verb for increasing is a causative form, so the better translation is, “When Adar enters, cause joy to increase.”

This teaches that we can choose joy, that we have the capacity to nurture feelings of joy even when surrounded by suffering and loss. So how do we do this? We have to give ourselves permission to feel joy. Feeling joy hardly negates the suffering of others. It is the reverse. The more we allow ourselves also to feel joy, the more capacity we have for love.

After giving ourselves permission, the next step is turning towards that which brings joy. I am joyous at the sound of rain on my roof, and the warmth of the sun that follows. I am joyous to be part of the Kol Emeth community. Our Shabbat kiddush brings me joy because I am with friends and community about whom I care deeply. Turning towards joy, recounting that which brings joy, lifts me up and restores me.

This past Shabbat, we mourned the loss of four Israeli hostages. Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas, alongside Oded Lifshitz. Many cried; we felt bitterly the loss. And- we turned towards a marvelous bat mitzvah student and rejoiced. We watched her friends come to the bimah to sing Adon Olam and it was glorious. We MUST rejoice with her and for her.

Thank you, God, for giving me life, even though it includes pain and suffering. And help me turn towards joy as I remember all the good that surrounds me every single day.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi David Booth